This last quarter of the year, I had plans to change, I even did this Kanban board of what to work on and complete, and how did that turn out? Well not so good. I do great one day, sub par the second day, and just give up all together on the third day, and the cycle continues...
The next week I regroup with myself and say "No, no, this week is different" I chip away some of the things from the board to not overwhelm myself, and day one goes well, day two meh, day three we barley do it, and then day four we give up.
This has been the theme for the last 6 weeks. I've been living that Einstein quote
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein
How to change
Working on change is difficult, (no shit Sherlock), but why? It's a bit frustrating that it's a fact, and we all accept it without trying to understand why? This week though, I sat down and worked on understanding why.
The answer was simple, it's not one thing but a cumulation of things.
- Chose one thing, only ONE thing you'd want to change.
- Schedule a time for what you want to do.
- Don't wait to be in the mood, do it every day regardless.
- Once it becomes a habit and there's no resistance (studies very between 21, 30, 90...days), repeat step 1
It's difficult because we resist the new habit we want to build, we're used to our comfort zones, but to break through that resistant, trying to change many things at once will just break us, which is well, what was happening to me. So, as much as I want to change many things all at once, I need to pick one at a time, otherwise, come December 31st and I'll just look back with regret so follow those steps, one at a time.
Now all those steps are easy apart from step 3 which is can be bottled down to Discipline. I don't know about you, but I am terrible at consistency, and managing myself, I give in to my moods and then beat myself up for it...
Obviously a change needs to happen in regards to that, and after going over some other peoples suggestions, I decided to set up some rules for myself to build that discipline which hopefully will help, and maybe perhaps whoever reads this would find it helpful as well, lets go.
The 5 second rule
I believe this one was popularized by Mel Robbins, I want to use it to get over the hump of starting. Here's how she explains it.
The 5 minute rule
Just note that the number is arbitrary, you chan chose 2 minutes, 3, or 10, you do you, but anyways, it's basically scaling down the habit, so as long as I do it for 5 minutes I'm good. I can chose to go more if I'd like, but I must lock in that 5. James Clear said it best in this video
The 2 day rule
This one, I loved. I look up to Matt, and admire what he does, and when he did this video, it made me re-think my approach to building a habit. I'll let him explain it.
Change is hard, and that's okay, because the key is to take it one step at a time, one change at a time. Deciding to change alone isn't enough we need to schedule it, and do it consistently. To do it consistently we need discipline, and you can approach it in your own way, one way though is to rest some rules to follow.
I have 49 days left till the end of the year, I want to end it strong, so lets do this 💪🏼